Tony Klinger

Today was supposed to be a calm writing day for my book. I have signed the contract which stipulates the first draft will be in their hands electronically by Friday week, and I was feeling pretty confident. That was before the publisher’s editor, with the name of Lucien, wrote me an e-mail asking me for a bunch of stuff he requires for the book shops, NOW!

They want anecdotes, bullet points, cover design ideas, title suggestions and strap lines. Don’t they understand I journeyed up the Mount Olympus of the publishing world to step away from the hurly burly of the rat race, and here I am scuttling around on my little treadmill.

I have no idea what I shall do, but having had a lifetime of meeting and beating schedules, both creative and financial, I shall find a way to say something pithy, and just in time.

It does truncate this column a bit, because it was going to be on the subject of my wall hangings, and now it might sound a bit mad, my reasons for them, if I don’t give you the full background.

Here in the West Wing of Klinger Towers, where I look out over the vast rolling acres of my back lawns I like not to be distracted by the horses or other wildlife, nor do I want anything too beautiful in my capacious study.

So I don’t allow the present Mrs. K in the room, her being just too beautiful, and in reality the lawns are not too big, and the room is quite cosy and tight. Best described in bijou descriptions as intimate. In fact, once you’re in here you need to keep trim or you won’t be able to make the turn to get out.

On my walls are a selection of pictures, posters and awards that either I or my late father won. Happily we did win quite a few, and its great when one catches your eye and sparks a happy memory. It inspires me, the knowledge that we can achieve anything we want if we set our mind to it. I guess, in a much bigger way, that’s what Barack Obama feels right now, and all those people who have been treated as something less because of the colour of their skin, the way they talk or look, or their religion. He proves that anyone can do anything.

When I still kept a formal office I had a different set of pictures on those walls. I keep them in storage now. They were to remind me of the films, the people and the deals I should have avoided. In every case the temptation to repeat the same mistakes did recur, and the pictures made sure I was able to resist. I think a wise and successful person is someone with ability, energy and the common sense not to repeat the same mistakes.

Mistake number one would be my taking another office when someone tempts me to do so, and that means those pictures will have to remain in storage!