Tony Klinger

Today someone asked me how the book I’m writing was progressing. When I said it was taking quite a long time for me to focus on it I could see their eyes lose interest. Another time I was telling someone that a screenplay I had written was a bit too “in your face” for the film studio’s readers. My friends response was simple, make it suit their desires. They were clearly exasperated by what they considered to be me being too artistic.

I wish it were all that simple, but I can’t change me so it’s very hard to change what I write. That isn’t me being precious, but it is me being honest with myself. They then said, “so you’ll probably not sell those things, and when you die someone will just come and collect those papers and burn them.” What a dreadful thought, I can’t imagine a worse outcome for all that gut wrenching effort but I guess they might be right. If no one else shares my vision and that particular strand of my writing doesn’t progress then it might well find its way onto a bonfire. I hope not but I can’t change my beliefs.

Like every other writer or creative person I’m torn between an intense desire to be able to eat and provide for those who are near and dear, and an equal wish to do something meaningful with whatever gifts I’ve got. Sometimes, very fortunately, these two natural desires coincide and the result is joyful. I suppose I’m describing a two tier form of creativity. What I do in an attempt to make a living and what is written because it really meant something to me. I can’t change the core of the latter.

I sound like an obstinate sod who won’t compromise and that isn’t the case. There are many things I write for third parties, or on commission that I gladly edit as required by my colleagues, and that has paid many a bill. Then there is what you write because you passionately believe in it. You might well edit it as you feel necessary, and of course you’ll change it if someone has a coherent reason that you can agree with, but asking a writer to change something just because it might then sell more easily, that’s a step too far.

The truth is some writers write to live whereas I live to write. I can’t exist without writing a bit every day, one way or the other. I prefer writing screenplays, but I can get by with prose, or an article or a blog like this, even a letter or an e-mail, but it has to be something committed to some form of print.

Would you ask a painter who was serious about his form of artistic expression to only use certain colors in his paintings or not to draw fat, ugly people because there were viewers who would look at that picture who had a preference for good looking slim people?

The final truth is that for long lasting resonance in any artistic endeavor to thine own self be true. I’m still trying!