Tony Klinger

Oh Lord, I have tried not to write this blog, but then again, maybe I shall be doing the Cineworld cinema complex in Enfield a favor by doing so. This is the nearest cinema to where I live. I go there often, sometimes twice a week, but hardly ever less than once. I have an annual pass as does my wife. So, I write this blog as an expert visitor to this establishment, not someone who goes there once a year and had a freakish bad time.

Let us be clear, this is, without doubt the the worst run cinema I have ever set foot in. I challenge any other place to be worse run. Trying to be positive, the toilets are pretty clean and the concessions quite extensive.

The cinema’s inability is made worse by the fact that it’s position, fabric and building are all passable by most standards of cinema going, so these deficiencies are all self-inflicted. I am not seeking to be comprehensive about all the faults I have seen but surely this is enough to be looking at for now. I have tried talking to the staff, management and company, but I feel I have been humored rather than have my observations dealt with.

Today was just another example of ineptitude that fair takes your breath away. The first film showing of Wall _ E,  was to start at 11am. We arrived at 10.45, along with about 50 others. This is the time the doors are supposed to open. We all waited and waited, but the staff studiously ignored us until 10.58, at which time one of them ambled to the doors with his keys. Of course, you’ve already guessed it, he was unable to open the doors. He ambled back in the opposite direction to seek the help of a colleague who must have a degree in door opening. Clearly it is a degree of a lower order, as he was also unable to open the door. Eventually, at a little past 11 we were waved to another door around the corner.

I already had picked up our tickets the day before fearing just such a happening, and therefore we were able to walk straight to our screen. However the day before had not been plain sailing either. I have, as I said earlier, got two passes which I wanted to use to purchase two of the tickets. That was not allowed as you cannot buy tickets with your pass the day before a film is to be shown. When I asked the pleasant young lady what the purpose of the rule was, she was plainly unable to explain it. But what did I expect. This is the third year I have had these passes and each time they come up for renewal, which is supposed to be automatic, the first I know that hasn’t happened is when the box office staff tells me my pass is out of date. Now, the pass has no date for renewal on them, and they are supposed to automatically renew them, but each year it somehow becomes my fault that the cinema hasn’t done their job.

Recently the cinema was a bit over enthusiastic in their production of popcorn behind the glass popcorn making room and we saw it go up in flames.

More common have been the many times when most of the box office stations have been unable to take anything other than cash as their machines for taking credit cards were inoperative. Or, and this is always fun, the last time I wanted to buy some popcorn and a couple of drinks the cashier said “I can only serve you if you have the exact money “cos the cash machine’s not giving out no change.”

Almost every time there is a big crowd the cinema management deems it appropriate to work with a minimal number of box office staff which leads to huge lines . Then, in what must be a sense of humor, they slowly add staff numbers as the people in the line rapidly become more angry.

They also choose to employ a mostly surly bunch of staff who have no idea what they’re doing. As a consequence they are almost all too slow, with the exception of two young women who are several times quicker and more pleasant than their colleagues. Despite this all being obvious, and having been pointed out many times to the managers, he is happy to either be chatting with other staff members, or hiding in his office.

During the last three months at this cinema I watched one film start without the sound having been turned on, another totally out of focus, and the third with the sound not being correct. Admittedly the staff got onto it pretty fast when I pointed out these mistakes, but where was the projectionist? Doesn’t he watch and listen to the film starting up? I know this is not an automated process in this cinema.

I should add that I saw Wall -E and it is wonderful and my review will be posted tomorrow, but I’d try seeing it somewhere else, anywhere else in the world.

My first job, way before I became a film maker, was as a cinema projectionist, and then I worked as a member of staff. My first boss would have shot me if I were this poor at our job, and he would have been right. Where do they get these people from? Where is their management?